Often in my work with people, they will want to jump right in to working on “sex” and their sex life. Understandably and beautifully so as sex is often the reason they came to see me in the first place – challenges in sex, wanting better sex, having no sex etc…. You get the idea. And while we certainly will work on enhancing and revitalizing his/her sex life, we almost always first begin with helping them rediscover their own sensuality.
What do I mean by that? I mean learning to be turned on by life itself. To feel alive and vibrant moving through life. To ability to feel deep joy and bliss and powerful sadness (sometimes even all at once) because he/she is so in touch with feeling and depth that everything can be sensual and everything can be ecstatic.
I read a definition once that sensuality is “the art of seduction”. I would posit, that sensuality is the art of being seduced by life itself. Sensuality is a desire for pleasure that extends far beyond sex. While it might include sex, it is so much bigger than sex alone itself. It is a desire and experience of pleasure in everything.
Now how does one begin to deepen and cultivate sensuality?
Breath
Sound
Movement
Three very powerful ways to exercise your “sensuality muscle”. Breath brings you back in to your body and the present moment to be able to sense and feel what is happening. Sound allows for a deeper more primal experience of the sensations and to align our energies. Movement allows for our brains and bodies to be more in sync and grounded and to move stagnant places through.
There are so many ways to breathe, sound and move….. Just a few of my favorites:
- Exercise
- Dance
- Breathwork practices – can be yin or yang practice
- Yoga
To name just a G-rated few 🙂 There are also so many tantric and Taoist practices that involve these three magical things. But for now, I encourage you to add in some of these to your self-care and begin to consider pleasure as a part of self-care.
Can you invite in more pleasure in to your day? What feels good to you? Maybe it is to savor your tea or pour another cup. Maybe it is to feel the sunshine on your face as you walk to your car. You see… the possibilities to increase your pleasure tolerance are limitless.
I invite you to see if you can pause now to take a few slow deep breaths and let even the breath feel pleasurable? I bet you can 🙂
Deep love & honoring,
